Between Coffee & Curfew

And when did compassion become conditional?

I’m probably going to offend somebody with this post. But considering what I’m about to talk about, I suppose that would be fitting.

Seriously, though. Whatever happened to people having thick skin?

When did we get to the point where having a different opinion automatically makes someone a terrible person? It seems like people are so quick to decide who’s right, who’s wrong, and who deserves to be publicly criticized that we’ve forgotten how to have an actual conversation.

I have opinions. Plenty of them. Some people agree with me, and others probably think I’ve lost my mind. That’s fine. I’m not looking for everyone to think like I do.

For example, I believe people should be able to love who they love. Who someone is attracted to, who they choose to spend their life with, or who makes them happy has absolutely no effect on my life. It’s not my relationship, and it’s not my business. I also believe they deserve the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities, and respect as everyone else. Who someone loves should never make them less deserving of any of those things.

I also believe parents should have a say in when and how their elementary-aged children are introduced to conversations about sexuality and gender identity. I think we can teach children to be kind to everyone, regardless of their differences, without necessarily making those subjects part of classroom instruction at such a young age.

Someone else might see that completely differently. And that’s okay. But I don’t think my position on what belongs in an elementary school classroom should automatically determine what someone thinks about my character or how I treat other people.

Then there’s the issue of small businesses.

I’ve seen people refuse to support a business because the owner has expressed beliefs they disagree with. That’s their choice, and they’re entitled to make it.

But here’s what I find ironic. Some of those same people will accuse the business owner of being discriminatory simply for holding those beliefs, even when that owner welcomes everyone, treats customers equally, and provides the same service regardless of who walks through the door.

Aren’t they making assumptions about someone based on their beliefs while accusing that person of doing essentially the same thing?

There’s a difference between having personal beliefs and actually treating someone unfairly because of who they are. And there’s also a difference between choosing where to spend your money and accusing someone of discrimination without evidence that they’ve discriminated against anyone.

I think we’ve become far too quick to judge people by what they believe instead of how they actually treat others.

And speaking of how we treat people, I want to talk about something that genuinely bothers me.

The reactions from some people following Charlie Kirks assassination.

I understand that he was a controversial figure. I understand that people strongly disagreed with his politics and the things he said.

But watching people mock or celebrate the death of another human being was disturbing.

He was someone’s husband. Someone’s father. And regardless of what anyone thought about his opinions, his family was left grieving.

I would feel the same way if it had happened to someone whose beliefs were the complete opposite of his.

When did we become so comfortable celebrating another person’s suffering simply because we don’t like what they stand for?

We talk constantly about kindness and compassion, yet sometimes those qualities seem to disappear the moment they’re needed for someone we don’t agree with.

And that brings me to something I think about often as a mother.

I’m raising my boys to be kind to everyone. Not just their friends, not just people who share their opinions, and certainly not just when it’s convenient.

I want them to understand that when a group of people is making fun of someone, they don’t have to join in. In fact, I hope they’re the ones willing to speak up, even if it means standing alone.

I want them to have their own beliefs and the confidence to express them. They shouldn’t feel pressured to change their opinions just because someone disagrees or because their perspective isn’t popular. But I also expect them to speak respectfully and recognize that the person on the other side of the conversation deserves the same consideration.

And if someone is being mistreated, I hope my boys will stand up for that person regardless of whether they share the same beliefs.

Because imagine what the next generation could look like if more children grew up understanding that standing up for someone doesn’t require agreeing with them.

Maybe we’d have fewer people joining in simply because everyone else is doing it. Fewer people afraid to speak their minds. And more people willing to do what’s right even when its unpopular.

I’m not suggesting everyone needs to stop being offended by everything. Some things are genuinely hurtful, and there are situations where speaking up is absolutely necessary.

But I do think we’ve lost some of our ability to hear something we don’t like without immediately turning it into a personal battle.

And somewhere along the way, I think we’ve also forgotten that being right about something doesn’t give us permission to be cruel.

I don’t expect a world where everyone agrees. I wouldn’t want one.

I just hope we can get back to a place where people are confident enough in their own beliefs that they don’t feel threatened by someone else’s, and compassionate enough to remember there’s a human being behind every opinion.

A little thicker skin and a lot less selective kindness.

Because if we can only be kind to people who agree with us, I think we’ve completely missed the point.

And if you disagree with me?

Well, I suppose you’ve just given me my next blog topic.

Between Coffee & Curfew🍵❤️